"Don't Touch Me" Cat Wants Advice on Handling Human

Dear Greyce,

Chaplin and Her Sister Skittles

My purrson is concerned about my don't-touch-me nature.

I am one-year-and-a-quarter years old and was adopted about three months ago along with my sister, Chaplin. We look a lot alike except she has long hair while mine is short.

We lived with a cat hoarder and were not used to people. After we were rescued, we stayed in a shelter and were then adopted. Now we live in a home with Himself, Herself and their baby. The latter two are home most of the time.

When we arrived in our new home, Chaplin was skittish and I was terrified so whenever anyone entered the room I was in, I ran and hid. Thankfully Themselves have been very patient and have respected our need for space. Chaplin is now an attention-getter but I still don't want to be touched. I will play with people as long as there is no contact.

I let Themselves come within inches of me and no closer. Once, Himself was able to pet me because I wasn't looking and thought Chaplin was touching me. She and I are inseparable. I sit wherever she is and I no longer hide as much. And I prefurr to be down low (nearer the floor) rather than higher up.

We free feed on dry food. Food doesn't really excite me although I will sometimes take treats.

My lack of desire for physical contact with purrsons bothers Himself very much. What can I do?

Hopefully,
Skittles

Skittish Cat Meets Demonstrative Human: Bea's Puzzlement with Bonding

Dear Greyce,
 

I am a stunning, five-year-old, female tortoiseshell in a long, fine fur coat that I keep in good condition largely by myself - though admittedly I do produce furballs. Two months ago, I arrived in my third home via an animal shelter, as a companion for a 14-year-old, male tabby called Henry after the death of his former feline room mate (also male). While considerably older than me, Henry is in good health except for having high blood pressure. We live with Herself in a five-room, single-storey home.

When I arrived, I was placed in the second bedroom with a catnip pillow. Of course I had my purrsonal litterbox and food and water bowls. At first I hid.

Herself visited every evening for about two hours. Henry would come to the door and we would hiss at each other (me in response to him).

Two weeks later, I was let out to explore the rest of the house for brief periods. There was still some hissing but it calmed down. Now I have the run of the house.

Now Henry and I eat out of each other's bowls (mine is still in the bedroom). We now share a common water bowl as well as a common litterbox (kept very clean - in the basement). From time to time he will grab my hind leg in an attempt at play and I will run with him chasing me. It's very benign and he doesn't harm me in anyway. But other than that we seldom interact. For example, during heat waves I stay upstairs while Henry goes to the basement which is cooler. At such times I like to lie behind the sofa table near the window which is purrfect because I am hidden but can bask in a light breeze.

So what's the problem?  It depends on whom you ask.

Kitten Scared of Humans: Parker Tries to Fit In

Dear Greyce,

I am having trouble adjusting to my new home. I am afraid . . . very afraid.

I am 15-week-old Burmese male who came (via airplane) to my new home a few weeks ago. When I arrived, Herself took me to a bedroom that she uses as her closet/library, opened my kennel door and left the room. About an hour later, she came in to check on me.

That was too soon for me because I was just coming out of the kennel. So when she opened the door I bolted out and hid. The next day she had to get me out of my hiding spot so we could go to the vet and get my check up. But now I'm getting used to my room. And only my room. While I live in a three-bedroom house, I have not been outside my room because Themselves are afraid that I will hide somewhere else and they will not be able to find me.

I have a well-established routine. Every morning Herself comes in with my wet food; she stays for about 45 minutes. Then she checks on me again just before leaving for work. When I am alone, I have access to dry food via a timed feeder. As soon as she gets home, she brings my second bowl of wet food and stays with me for about 30 to 60 minutes. She returns later and spends another one or two hours sitting on the floor in my room, either watching movies and playing with me. Just before bed, she comes in to say good night.

Himself comes in from time to time and gives me treats. He plays with me, usually later in the night.

I am eating and drinking well. I am brave enough to eat beside Herself's leg when she brings my meal(s).

And I have no problems peeing or pooping. I got a bigger litter box than the one I started out with because I shovel litter on to the floor. I also like to bring my teddy bear and one of my toy in there.

I love being perched on a box on top of the desk so I can look outside. I have a cave bed that I cuddle in, with a towel and my teddy bear.  And toys  . . . lots of toys: jingle balls and mice and an s-shaped track with a ball in it that I hit and chase back and forth. And I like to play with Themselves using anything on a string. My hiding place is under a chair.

So what is the problem? I hiss at my purrsons. And I run away and hide when they move even the littlest bit.  Even though I will eat next to Herself's leg or let Themselves give me treats, I will run away right after that.

Herself  tried to hold me a couple of times, but I resisted and cried until she let me go. Now she is afraid to touch me. In the hope of helping me relax, she installed a Feliway diffuser in my room last week.

It bothers her a great deal because she has had cats before, but never one like me. Can you explain why I behave this way? And what we can do about it?


Fearfully,
Parker

Eli the Cat: Unhappy? Lonely?

Dear Greyce,

I have a lot of questions for you:
1.  Am I normal?
2.  Is there anything you can suggest that would better my situation?
3.  Do you think a new kitten is a good idea . . . for me?
4.  What should I do about those toms who come into MY yard?

Re-integrating the Nervous Cat: Sinbad's Case Continued

Dear Greyce,

Tent Basket on Top of Drawers

I hope you haven't forgotten me - the cat who left home because he was overwhelmed by all the changes in it? (entry: Cat Leaves Home On Purpose)

As requested, here are some photos of the cat furnishings at home. To the left is my covered cat basket (some people might call it a fleece cat tent) which sits on top of a chest of drawers in the corner of the hall to the master bedroom. 

Cat Tree

To the right is the cat tree. The scratch pad is of no interest to me as I prefurr to use the real trees outside. And neither Bella nor I are much interested in sitting on the top level. It is located in the living room at the corner of two walls.

Best to you,
Sinbad

Why Do I Have to Socialize?

Dear Greyce, As you can see from my photo, I am a Bulgarian beauty and I am in search both of a name by which humans can address me and a permanent residence. About a month ago, I was humanely trapped and spayed and then went to live with my rescuer. Unfortunately the large dog who lives with her gave me a hard time. I solved the problem by staying in the basement and roaming the yard. You can imagine what my life had been like on the streets, for I never went outside that yard.

I am not a social cat. I prefurr to stay by myself. However this did not meet with her approval. “How will you ever get adopted if you continue to behave that way?” she would say to me. Frankly I didn’t care. Life was fine as it was.

In the hopes of preparing me for adoption, she placed me for fostering in an apartment with a young couple. I’ve been here about three weeks and I have it just the way I like it.

I live in the bedroom. When they return in the evening, I hide. Then at night when they are asleep, I start to play.

I’m fed wet and dry food and have come to enjoy both. Sometimes when Herself serves my dinner, I let her touch me on the head. And sometimes I will watch Themselves lie on the bed or sleep, until one of them moves – when I leave immediately.

I am not aggressive but I fear noise and movement that is unexpected (or loud), and I do NOT like to be touched. I have a litter box which I use faithfully.

In other words, I am not much trouble at all. So why do I have to become more able to interact with human beings? I like things as they are. Nameless Beauty

Only On My Terms - The Aloof Cat and The Cuddly Human

Dear Greyce, I am a four-year old, female tabby and have been adopted by a purrson about two months ago. My home is quite fine except for one thing: My purrson is a cuddler and I am not! My prefurrence is to keep to myself and seek attention on my own terms. My purrson, however, has always had cuddly pets and expects me to submit to all sorts of handling. Case in point: I will let her pet me but she overdoes it and I have to snap at her or run away. Even worse, she took me to the vet for nail clipping and the fur really flew! Greyce, I like my new home - even my new purrson, but her habits are getting me down. What do you advise? An Anonymous Tabby